Family Relations: 2013

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Benefits of a blended family

There are many challenges facing in the blended family. All blended families are different for various reasons. Their dynamics are different and thus they operate differently. Blended families are fully capable of raising healthy, happy, well-adjusted members of society by family members devotions.

We need to change our focus from the negative aspects of blended families to the positive and help them to have success life.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Attention seeking? how can I help?

I read some articles about that and they suggest that
1. Catch them being good. Give attention for appropriate behavior. Look for opportunities to make a positive comment. Fill up the attention hole with good stuff as many times a day as you can.
2. Ignore the misbehavior but not the child. Negative reactions will only keep the negative interaction going. Instead, simply quietly send her to timeout When the time’s up, invite her to come back to join the family. Give her reassurance that you know she can behave now. Then find a way to engage with her positively for at least a few minutes before moving on.
3. Be consistent. It’s the only way children know we mean what we say.
4. Repeat. Repeat until the child gets it. Repeat whenever misbehavior is more than a momentary lapse. Repeat more than you think should be necessary. Do it until it becomes a pattern of interaction in your family’s life.

It is good principle for parents to deal with kids every day.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Four qualities my Children have to have, I wish

Before parents want their kids to have good qualities, Parents should have the qualities of cooperation, respect, responsibility, and courage. My kids and I can work together and cooperate each other by listening and taking each other. I learn a lot from my kids and I teach them when they need educations. We can teach each other in respect manner. I want to show my respect to them. I give my children certain amounts of responsibility and make them stick to the choices they make. I really want my children to have courage to try new things and stand up in right position.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Communication

Communication is so important between a husband and wife. . We all have different opionion about somethinkg, so there could be some confiction. We try to open our mind and ready to understand each other before we tell something what we think. It is good if we express our love before communication.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Crisis could be an opportunity!

This week's lesson was good and I had time to think aobut my life.
I know that my life is challenging but I am learning and am blessed from challges.
A few weeks ago at Sunday school meeting, my tears ran down my cheeks constantly because I felt a feeling that the bishop wouldn’t have understood me, my situation, and if I would have an interview with him someday. The bishop mentioned when he had an interview with church members who talked about their difficult situations, He asked them “do you believe that Heavenly Father knows you and will guide you in the right way, and right time. And when they answered yes and the bishop says to them, “if you have faith, it will work out, believe him”. After he said this to them, and finish the interview, always the church members tried to say like this: “but bishop, I have a different circumstance, mine is hard….” At that meeting, the bishop said, “We are always saying we have a faith in heavenly father, but actually we do not believe in him completely. He was looked like a very cold man to me at that time, because I thought everyone had a difficult time even when they had faith. I thought they needed someone who can hear they burden. I said to myself, why he cannot understand them at first, and comfort before he talks. Do they have not enough faith in heavenly father? After the meeting, I talked to my husband about how I felt during when the bishop talked at Sunday school. My husband said something like this, “if we have a faith, there is no excuse. Just believe him and follow him. I think our bishop was right.” I was kind of surprised with my husband’s respond; I tried to believe that the bishop’s talk was right. If we believe in heavenly father completely, everything will come true at right time, the right way.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Understanding each other

Eventhough a humsband and wife love each other, there would be problems in marraige. The most problems are from less communicate in our marriage and we think, we didn’t understand our spouse well. It seemes like we are speaking different languages. love and respect help us succeed!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

adjustment!

To getting married is, kind of, to decide to live in foreign country. The marriage couple faces so many different adjustments from different backgrounds and culture. A couple need to adjust to different traditions, habits (eating, sleeping..), rules , language, careers, budgeting. For better adjustment, good communication skill is needed but it is not easy to start and understand each other because each person used to communicate in his/her own way. we need to learn to communicate successfully to overcome difficult situations.

Friday, February 15, 2013

cultural differences between my kids and me

My kids think they have different parents to their friends’ parents. My kids and my husband, I feel that there are gaps between us. We try to over cultural differences but it is not easy for us because my husband and I are accepting American cultures based upon on Korean culture but my kids are learning Korean culture based upon their own American culture. We all together deal with culture clashes between us every day. Balance the two parts of our own family world is my family goal. The therapeutic communication is the best way to understand each other and find the adjustable way for all of us.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

same gender attraction

President Uchtdorf‘s talk was very powerful for me. He said that "Consequently, never in the history of the world has it been more important to learn how to correctly discern between truth and error." Lots of cases of same-sex marriage take place in our society and many people confused what truth is.

What LDS church stands on is “The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.”

Our trials make our life so hard but that can be our blessing. We have our own trials and we try to overcome them. To feel like a gay or lesbian is one of trials, not born with naturally. I do not think to having a same gender attraction is bad. I had experiences when I was in high school. There was one girl who was so popular because she acted like a boy. Lots of girls wanted to be her friend. That was just an attraction to her.

AS a LDS, we know that what the truth if for that but we need to have open mind to accept their decision and love them. I thought about my children, what if they want to be a gay or lesbian? It would be so hard to me. Maybe I could so mad to them.

If I ready and study for same-sex attraction right now, I will be more act reasonably. There is one think I want to teach them is when faced with a trail of faith, do not step away from the Church and keep exercise faith in Christ, pray and ponder the scriptures. I will let them know always I am here with them always, and there is place for them always. I believe we can overcome our trial together.

Elder Quentin L. Cook said “Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I want to be in upper class because

I watched the korean drama, chungnamdong Allice past few months. This drama talked about one lady who is in low class wants to live in chungnandong where only high class people live in Korea. She tried to everything she could because no matter how she smart there is no way to advance to a higher class, but was not success. She realized that changing classes was not easy and was not accepted by the upper class.

I want to be in higher class becasue I want to suppor to my kids well. They have been missed lots of apportunities from our poor.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

family system

Nowadays, Family counselors reconize that the family as a system. The family system functions act like an unit, and every family member plays a critical role in the system. so it is possible that one member of the system could be changed by changing in their family system. I learned that if one family member has a problem, usally family counselors meet everyone of household and try to find ways to solve problems because the problem one particualr member has relatated to, or from each other family members. Each member of the family plays a specific roles to keep each individual family uniqueness. The family members need to aware of their behaviors and ready to change them when needed.

Family trends

We talked about what kinds of family trends are present in USA. low birth rate, low marrige rate, single parent family style, high rate of divoce, having a kid outside of marrige relationship, increse working mom at home etc. Every trends are affecing other trends. they are correlated each other.
I have time to think about my kids. I think, the family is their first school in their life.
so the life with family is very important and it plays a major role in their development into the person they become. Waht they lernn and see from their family becomes their value and forms their perceptions. As a parent, It is important to provide them good enviroment to develop good personality, habit. etc.